The Amazing Crime Solving News Anchor
I'm sorry, but if I see one more 24 hour news network anchor pretend like they know how to solve
some unsolved mystery I'm going to lose it. These people masquerade around like security guards with
an Oedipus complex. For the last time oh mighty 24-hour news anchor, you aren't a detective so
report the damn news already and stop speculating. You know what a good way to identify when some
news anchor is blowing bullshit 20 feet in the air? When every other word out of their mouth is
"could" or "might" or "possibly." Why don't they just cut to the chase and admit that they have
absolutely no bloody idea who killed Jane Doe and why. There's this pesky thing called police, and
it's about damn time that news anchors leave crime solving to the people who are actually
accountable for what they say and do. Because as far as I know, Greta Van Sustren or Geraldo haven't
solved too many double homicides (though Geraldo did really blow the lid off Al Capone's Safe).