Political Rants

Consider this situation: little jimmy is interested in getting high, and he doesn't want to kill himself using inhalants, or pay a whole bucketful of greenbacks to get hooked on cocaine or heroin. So he walks down to his friendly local drugstore with a forged prescription for some medicinal marijuana, claim that he has stomach ulcers, and walks out of the store with enough pot to get and keep him high for a month.

A scary thought, but its the truth: under the drug legalization bill, created by the liberals who we love so much, huge quantities of marijuana would be kept and dispensed to people with only a doctor's prescription, which can easily be falsified. Why may I ask would we want to make drugs even more accessible to young people in this already drug-infested society?

Also, marijuana is considered a gateway drug; that is, its use leads to the use of other, more powerful drugs. If marijuana were legalized, the people who used marijuana might very well open the gateway, to LSD or cocaine, or another powerful drug. If they could get lots of people to say that that drug was the only true cure for the pain of AIDS, cancer, or other such terminal illnesses, then it becomes possible for lil' jimmy to go get stoned as hell on medicinal LSD. That is, of course, until he thinks he's being attacked by a monster and stabs himself to death, or thinks he can fly and jumps off the top story of a high-rise building.

Why, may I ask, do liberals even want to legalize drugs in the first place? Supposedly they want to put people out of their pain and suffering if they have a terminal illness, or restore their appetite during chemotherapy and such. I hate to be blunt, but isn't that what morphine and appetite supplements are for?

Lastly, have liberals weighed the consequences of this idea against the possible benefits? I mean, is it seriously worth shattering so many young minds and lives through drug addiction to remove pain from a few individuals? Is it really worth so many lives to end a few isolated cases of suffering? Also, cannot morphine and other existing, legalized pain relievers be used effectively?

In conclusion, I believe that liberals need to seriously look at their plans to increase the availability of illicit drugs. Why would anyone in their right mind make the decision to risk so many young, innocent lives to end the suffering of a few? Why breed a whole generation of drug addicts to supposedly deliver pain relief and appetite increases where conventional methods have not yet been proven to be ineffective? It simply makes very little sense to me. Chalk another ineffective, unnecessary, potentially dangerous plan up for the good ol' liberals.

~ Chris Franson
Soon to come: defacing the Presidential election of the year 2000.

Animal testing is causing a lot of heat in today's political climate. On the one side of the debate, the fact that testing of this nature has saved thousands upon thousands of human lives. On the other, the debatable argument that the testing has the same moral implications of torturing a person. How then will we decide our opinions on this very important matter? Let's hear the arguments:

Conservatives argue that Animal Testing has saved countless millions of human lives, reduced plagues of pandemic proportions to sticky-looking liquids in test tubes in microbiology labs, and is moving us closer to creating cures for horrific diseases, such as Ebola and cancer every day. Obviously, for these reasons, Animal Testing is something that we want to keep around.

On the other hand, liberals argue that animals have senses of touch as well, and can feel pain just as acutely as a human infant can. Since they can think and feel and (to an extent) reason, that they should get the same treatment as humans, even though they are, in reality, animals. Also, they argue that conservatives should look at this issue from a cosmic perspective; to ask themselves how important humankind really is in the universal plan?

What I consider interesting is that whenever I've ever asked a liberal who they'd rather have live, their family or a group of lab rats, I've gotten the same answer, and it's not exactly the one you'd expect from a person who would risk their lives to save a tree in an old-growth forest.

Also, liberals fail to consider one major point: animals involved in testing almost never feel pain. In fact, something like 94% of lab animals never even feel pain as a direct result of testing.

So now, it's time for you to make the decision: should we preserve our ways of testing animals to save countless human lives, or should we give it all up to save a few rats bred especially to be tested on? For me the decision is easy. How about you?

I just want to thank Jesse for letting me in on this.

~Chris Franson

The rap star Eminem is quite possibly the most controversial figure in all of modern culture. Why? Because he expresses himself in a way that some people find offensive, and some claim causes violence and vulgarity in other people. Why, I ask, is Eminem being attacked by everyone from my parents (believe me, they have) to his own mother, when so many other people do the same things as he does?

Well, for starters, Eminem supposedly says some of the most offensive things found on mass-produced recordings. For instance, many critics note that in Eminem's song "Kim", he slits his girlfriends throat, and as she drowns in her own blood, he screams obscenities at her, before an angry refrain of depression buzz-phrases. Not only is this style of bloody lyric far from unusual, but it is found in songs by some of the greatest artists of all time, including Jimi Hendrix, among others.

Fred Durst and his band Limp Bizkit, in their song "Break Stuff", sing about a bad day. The passage "I hope you know I pack a chainsaw/I'll skin your @ss raw/and if this day keeps going this way I just might/BREAK YOUR F*CKING FACE TONIGHT!" is included in the lyrics to this angry new-age rock song, followed by "just give me something to break/How about your F*CKING FACE?!". Why I ask is this song so very different from Eminem?s lyrics, so as to provoke numerous attacks and lawsuits on him, while leaving Durst relatively unscathed?

My answer to this mystery? Liberals. The liberals don't like Eminem's angry, in-your-face style that walks over their ideals, so they grow to hate him. Our great nation has already borne sacrileges against free speech from such liberals as Tipper Gore, who started the concept of ?Parental Advisory: Explicit Content? badges on CDs, and Joseph Lieberman, almost Vice President (thank God for that) who pledged in his speeches to protect children?s ?fragile minds? from nudity and other such explicit content by banning ?raunchy shows like Seinfeld? from the air. What in God?s name was this man trying to ban Seinfeld for?! When has raunchiness EVER been a feature of the comedy that we love so much? And how is it in any way not a heinous abridgement of our Constitutional Rights to Freedom of Speech to be banned from selling works to people under age 18?!

But there is something that you can do to stop this sadistic and evil liberal activity: vote conservative in 2004 and beyond! Send a message to those freedom-stealing bastards that they are not welcome here! End the Democratic chokehold on Minnesota now, in our great generation!

~ Chris Franson

Soon to come: the evils of Animal Rights.

I'm in!

I have lived in Minnesota my entire life, only lately was it that I realized everyone in it is liberal. I hate liberals, I find them to be incredibly hypocritical, they whine about the destruction of nature, then they drive there SUV's that get a whole eight miles to the gallon. SUV's are designed to drive through the woods, not for city driving. The thing that seems completely ass backward to me is the Lexus SUV, you spend 80 thousand dollars on it, are you going to be driving it through the woods? I do not think so, what good is it? You can't drive it in the woods, and its no good for driving in the city. Its like having velvet work boots, totally unnecessary. If you need to haul many people around get a Minivan, maybe you've heard of them. Well, back on topic, I even get harassed because I'm republican, I hate this state and I am just about ready to move to Kansas. Well, that concludes my first entry.