Fifth Letter to Jesse
We are really not all that different, we are both people who really don't meet people. This is probably because of our own faults. These things need to be corrected in my opinion but we are both stubborn or maybe passive is a better word (well is it for you). I've been trying to change or at least adapt these last few years and really I have no idea how. People seem resistant and I count you among them but frankly you should have the time. You can be almost impossible to draw out and I hope you can see that I have tried/am trying. Even you have to think its a bit odd that I have to wait until your completely sleep deprived to talk about anything. Why lie and say you haven't read my letters? Why not just say you have nothing to say? I feel that this is all coming off as too aggressive but its hard. I've been trying to get to know everyone I knew in high school. I see you falling for all the girls I had crushes on in high school and you know what I think to myself? Thats incest. Its the lack of people we know and really they all are beautiful and it's almost a pity as it keep me complacent. Well then what advice do I have for you? Well its not a lot and I'm not sure how useful it will be. Get your drivers license and get out a bit and act when ever possible. I'd rather regret doing something then regret doing nothing and I always regret doing nothing. (actually this might conflict with advice I've given in the past and I think my error was there and not here). I'm surprised you had such a good time in Japan actually. I mostly find that things are mostly the same everywhere and that there is immeasurable beauty where I am. . . but then again I don't get out much ether. I like to talk big, I like to play the sage and it all works out when I'm questioned constantly, when nothing I say is taken as solid. I don't know how much more I have to say at the moment and I feel that this letter was rather weak. . . Well I'll respond to every question and every response as soon as I can.
"I mostly find that things are mostly the same everywhere and that there is immeasurable beauty where I am"
as odd as it seems, that?s the part that struck me most. How much they are just the same as us. Once I got past the simple cosmetic differences, it just struck me how similar Japan and America really are. I talked about this with the group and I believe we all agreed that it wasn't nearly as different as we expected and that we just see on average a very high percent of the weird stuff in America, but very little of the normal stuff. I honestly went into it expecting something more like bizaro world, but I'm realizing now how similar we all really are. If anything, the trip opened my eyes.
"Why lie and say you haven't read my letters?"
I have what's probably described as an inferiority complex and not wanting to look stupid not reading them seemed better than not being able to come up with an intelligent response. I apologize for not being more honest.
As for getting my license, I get that advice a lot, especially from my self. Part of me likes being different? that part of me is probably the part that brings the rest of me down so often. I'll get it, eventually.
One problem is I've never been in a huge rush to grow up, despite the world forcing me to. Meh. More, later, possibly.