The age old question: Which is better, Shampoo or Conditioner?

We all know both are essential, but which is better? Both are vital. Shampoo tends to go on first, and often cleans the hair; sometimes needing to be used twice. Conditioner makes hair managable, and creates the after shower smell. In a war, I bet conditioner would win. It'd be insane, and probly use nuclear bombs. Yeah, I said it, conditioner is a totalitarian substance. But then shampoo would be all like "you hurt me, so I'm gonna rape your in the ass". At which point the war would ensue, and then both would die, and soap would cry cause it's all alone. :'C