Crappy Poetry that Me and Jeff Came Up With in English Class
Haiku 101:
I am writing now
Writing writing am I now
haiku haiku done
Tonka 101:
I am writing now
Thoughts to paper here are they
Writing writing am I now
Tonka tonka over now
Tonka tonka done
Mango Street Blah-blah:
Syllables all wrong
Mango Street cat had blue car
Inconsequential blah-blah
Burning book sets heart ablaze
Cats and cats and cats
Nonsensibleality:
House on Mango Street
Nonsensibleality
Only word that describes it
Of which tears my heart in two
Bad bad bad bad book
Kill Kill Crush Burn Kill:
Kill kill kill bad book
Crush crush burn crush Mango Street
Haiku haiku done
Mango Street Be Damned:
There once was a book that was bad
Can't find any plot that it had
I went for a match
Best make it a batch
A book never poignant, egad!
And thats about all for now, I might write something serious here later (might being the operative, lol).
I am here.
Well, now popular culture has gone and done it. Perhaps this is one time too many to lash out at the media whores and money snatchers, perhaps it isn't. You be the judge.
Now then, for the reason behind this article. This is perhaps the single most frightening thing that has happened to me in the last year, if not my entire life. Now then, I was drawing parallels between the society of the 1950's and now (perhaps Andrew can relate to the assignment), and I came across the following: Buddy Holly (along with several other notable musicians of the time), Ben Hur, and The Catcher in the Rye. Now this, in and of itself, may not seem so bad. However, following this, and some in-depth thought processes, the best parallels I could come up with were N* Sync (Stync), Dude, Wheres My Car, and (pick a crappy grocery store romance novel title and insert here). Does this scare the hell out of anyone besides me?
To continue my rapidly-emerging expose on those of feeble mind, I will now rant, rave, and otherwise commit random acts of lunacy about the queen of them all: Oprah. She has been given the title of "Borg Queen of Feebs". Where she was crowned this (inside my very own skull, boys and girls) matters not. What is truly important is the evil swarm of feeble parents she has spawned, and now intends to destroy the world with using a giant "feeb ray" (you heard it here first, kiddies). However, you may be thinking, "how can Oprah be the Supreme Queen of Feebs? I thought that was my sister!" Your sister may very well be the closest associate of Oprah; that is not for me to prove or disprove. However, I present to you these startling facts: for the first (and only) time, I actually stopped flicking rapidly between channels on the Oprah Show. I wanted to change the channel, and with all my might I tried, but I simply couldn't. Also, through what I could catch, she was blaming all the world's evil on either MTV (idiotic, but not too bad) or violent video games. Yet, even through this obviously feebish (word of my own creation) activity, I was transfixed. Thus, Oprah is corrupting (or has corrupted) all our parents, who will raise her to power in the post-feeb ray apocalypse. I hope, for all our sakes, that she can be stopped.
Well, I was walking through the halls of the High School today (and the rest of my time there, (and the vast majority of my time in the public school system, for that matter)), and a shocking realization came to me. It was, and I quote: people, in general, are feebs. But why? Why are people such intolerable feebs? Then, another startling realization came to me. It was, simply, that popular culture, being the root of all evils, is also the root of this one. I mean really people, Take a step back and a look at what popular culture is, and even more importantly, what it isn't. It isn't about knowledge; if one were to do nothing but become entirely immersed in popular culture, on the day that such a poor, unfortunate soul went to his grave, he would have no idea of concepts as simple as what the heck a book is, or who George Washington was. Consider this: have you ever seen an ad for the newest bestseller, or even one of the great classics of literature, on MTV? Thus, it isn't about intelligence rising to the top, and stupidity sinking to the bottom (the ideal society, in my opinion). It's purely about mindless sex, terrible music, and above all, STUPID BRAINDEAD FEEBS. I hope that this little paragraph has given you some valuable insight into how bad society has become over the last few years. I know it should have.
Wow. Morpheus now sucks. Without Napster, the pornography-free music download software, as a whole, is absolutely awful. I'd even go so far as to say it "jumps the shark", if you will. How could all of these problems have been solved? By leaving people to run their business. Lassiez-faire capitolism is a good thing, for the most part. So long as someone isn't controlling the market of their products (which Napster was NOT) and driving up the prices of their products, thus screwing over the consumer (Napster never committed this act either), lassiez-faire works just fine. Napster wasn't controlling its field of business, as it never came anywhere close to controlling the music industry (which reported record-high profits in every single year following Napster's debut). The crux of my argument, stated simply, is that if the music industry had not whined and complained about having a single, small competitor for so long and to so many, I could still enjoy a Saturday morning discovering the best damn bands there are to be found. Thank you, music industry, and thank you judicial branch for ruining Napster, thus demolishing these small bands' only chance of success. You've done us an irrepayable favor.
WARNING: THIS RANT IS RATED "R" FOR LANGUAGE *bitter laugh*
Okay, here goes:
Does anyone else see the absurdity of this situation? My father, in all his incredible wisdom, has decided that I, being an impressionable teenager, may not watch R-rated films, despite the fact that some of the best movies out there bear said rating. (Example: I ask him to see every single one of the following. His one an only reply? "You can, when you're seventeen". Here's the list: A Clockwork Orange, Godfather I, Godfather II, Godfather III, The Silence of the Lambs, Patton, and Platoon.) Side notes: 1. He scoffed at me when I asked to see A Clockwork Orange, asking "why do you want to see that?". 2. He OWNS the Godfather trilogy.
Just as some background, of the 35 or so American Film Institute Top 100 films made since the movie rating system was enacted, 17 or so were R-rated. That means that the R-rated category produces just as many good films per year as those in all three other categories combined.
But here's where it gets really good. On his own, he has asked me to see the following critically-acclaimed R-rateds: Alien 3, Blade, and The Matrix, all by himself, with no prompting whatsoever from me. Am I missing something here, or is my dad an ignorant hypocrite who contradicts both himself and readily-available information on a daily basis?
Hmm... I seem to have forgotten all the language I was going to add... Oh well, best just leave it. *another bitter laugh*
~Chris Franson, 2/8/02
While I very much agree with your view on Democrats, I have no choice but to disagree with your statement as a whole. I doubt the government has recovered Bin Laden, as he may very easily have fled Afghanistan unnoticed. But if the government is, as you suggested, "wagging the dog" until most of the terrorist population of Afghanistan is destroyed, is it really such a bad thing? Certainly it is an action that disturbs the American faith in their government, but is it not for the greater good that these dangerous terrorists be taken out of action? If the government has decided to be untrustworthy in this case, I believe that they have the best interests of the people of the United States in mind, or it played at least a minor role in their decision-making process.
But then again, WWII was pretty much everyone vs. Germany...
Absolutely nothing at all, besides higher security? Why do you say that?
