Just a random thought before I head to bed to maybe try and start a conversation. I read on Digg just now that Burger king is going to start killing their Pork and Eggs humanely… firstly, how do you inhumainly kill an egg? Secondly, what, if any is the point of “Humane” killing? Killing is killing, no matter how nicely you kill something its still dead, and any suffering it may have gone through is negated. I honestly don’t see the difference… I mean for instance if you were going to kill me, would it matter how you killed me after I was dead? With that I’m heading to bed
Let me pretense this by saying it may seem a little random, but there is some kind of method to this response, though its hidden to even I. I want to try not to just answer back / counter point your questions / points, but that’s how it usually goes.
I think we’re as close now, despite any physical distance, as we ever were; I’m a hard person to know, certainly. I think events to me have deeper meanings to me than most people, possibly because I have so few. Having a job and being around people has certainly helped settle my restlessness, but its still there. I’m no advocate of organized education either; I believe it has a more of a uniform-ing, dulling effect on a persons mind than anything else. That’s not to say I don’t like education, it’s just that I prefer self-education. My job is basically PHP and MySQL Did I learn either of those at Brown? Didn’t touch them. I learned those from my own endeavors. For Oasisband. Joel has certainly made a huge impact on my life. Its strange how searching shoutcast for “They Might Be Giants” and stumbling upon a station called Edogg can change the course of a person’s life so drastically. He’s hosted Oasisband graciously for years now. He’s been there whenever I had questions, logical or philosophical. It was he responding “Learn PHP” to my bothersome “I’m Bored…”’s combined with him giving me my internship that no doubt got me my job. How can I repay such a man? That bugs me actually.
This next thought I’ve been meaning to get out there for a while, but didn’t have a proper medium, so I figure now is as good a time as any. I’m not happy unless I’m sad. When I have no reason to be down, I don’t know what to do with my self. I’m not sure if it was the stress or the vicodin or some combination thereof, but one of the strongest memories I have are the few weeks after I got my wisdom teeth yanked in September of 2004. There was such a strong sense of hopelessness; I had been shipped out to the middle of nowhere, all my friends scattered around the country, I hadn’t been accepted into any of the schools I applied to and was getting yelled at constantly by my mother about it, and to top it all off the constant physical pain. It’s just a part of my life I think about every single day. The only up side to it was we still had Voom then. I miss Voom. It’s strange. I used to love Aqua Teen. I watched a few episodes yesterday on DVD before I went to sleep, and it did nothing for me. I literally sat there thinking “How could I have liked this, its stupid” They made the same joke three episodes in a row, where meet wad just wanders off, then says “Staring:” some random movie star as though it were the title of a movie.
I still dream of High School. Its for this reason I’ve bought all this Penny Arcade memorabilia, the books, this cup, the shirt over there. Penny-Arcade to me represents something to me. A good time in my life. My mind connects everything though. I connect Mountain Goats with Chipolte with Oblivion all because of that day after Gross’s appendix blew and you guys came to my house. Its crazy too, where there are no connections, my mind needs connections and draws false ones. My verbal memory is fantastic actually, one of the best things I have probably, and I can remember almost every IM conversation I’ve ever had. My brain though doesn’t connect these to where I was at the time, but rather I for some reason connect completely unrelated places. There are many conversations I had on AOL back in seventh and eighth grade that for some reason my mind has connected with West Jr. Highs library. I can think of several right now that are connected with that small section of Paul’s House between the stairs and the Pool Table. As I stated though earlier, everything means something to me. Not in the crazy sense of someone else I know, but in more of a crazy sentimental way. I take deep meaning from Parties large or small. Most of the things I’ve bought on my spending spree of late, excluding the DS and Games, have been more for sentimental value than actual want/need.
Well I’ve rambled on enough for now I suppose. I always feel like an egomaniac when I write these… Its all I I I, Me Me Me… I’m really the only person I know though. I feel as though I should mention you more, perhaps we are drifting. I haven’t mentioned everything I wanted to, but its getting to the length where if I hadn't written it I might not read it, so it’s a good point to end.
Your Friend Always,
Jesse Gordon Donat
It has been awhile. . . For a lot of things it has been awhile. I’ve been reading over my old letters I have probably close to two hundred pages of them all told. But maybe only 3 or so letters to you. Odd I think. We used to be close didn’t we? Maybe that’s just nostalgia talking. I do remember watching blue but you have to realize I had maybe two years of that with gross over and over. Maybe that will explain how close we are. So why are we so far apart? I think its mostly physical distance and as much as you don’t want to hear it a driver’s license dose solve some of those issues. But I think your doing better then you think. If you still think that other people are maturing faster then you know that the grass is always greener. I mean you have a real job and a permanent place to live. That’s more then most people have myself included. But I don’t think you would agree. Your in a good position though if your good with your money you can go to 'real collage' if you want (though if your making good money I’m not sure I see the point( then again I've never been the advocate of education)). Well work your way up the corporate ladder and then you’ll have the money to buy time to work on what ever you want. Well I don’t know what else to say. . . I’ll be around if you need of me. I have infinite patience if only finite wisdom.
Yours in truth,
**After a few extremely optimistic letters to Gross we had a snow fall up here and spring was pushed back. People who would actually read this probably know who is in my dream though maybe not well enough. As a point of interest I’ve almost finished compiling all our correspondence (there are still a few hand written notes and two major hand written pieces missing) if anyone wants a copy let me know.**
Let us be realistic its still February. My false spring explodes into tinny white flakes. Things are slow and lonely, sometimes I still see my self as that fool on the hill. When you become a wise fool like me atop your own mountain you will learn that you only want to come back down. . . Where the people are. But you have been there before we may even have climbed a few of those mountains together. I thought of a false parable to admonish you slightly for not writing but I’ll let it die. I’ve lost the want of little bouts of anger its hard being this level headed. Its Sunday and already I’m waiting for the weekend. Are you coming back for break. In my mind I wont see you for a year or so. Sadly not that much different then what its been in the more present past. I dream recently:
A childhood friend and I prepare for a long journey. We sit on the step near the front door. She is a frozen soft drink. She whispers “Do you want to know me?” from somewhere in her plastic body. I say that there will be time for all that later.
I awake knowing as much as when I fell asleep. I feel hollow after dreams like that as I stumble for my notebook in a painful half strong resolve to record my own hollowness. At least I am actively sleeping. Perhaps that’s all I ever do. I am truly obsessive and tether myself to the past. Only the women haunt my dreams though. You know in a desperate moment I wanted to drink deep from her? I hesitated. I faltered. How do you tell someone you want to drink deep from there being? How do you say “Yes, I want to know you” and have them understand? How do you get them to ask “Do you want to know me?”? It only seems to happen in my dreams. . .
In the last few years I have almost tried completely to remove myself from my school. And its interesting I’ve found it impossible to be completely unknown even if its just as ‘that guy’. I’ve convinced myself that I’ve learned something in the last few years and it’s lead me to believe that there is more to people then they let on. This however seems to distance me further from what I think they are. All this has just furthered my want to study people and really I’m not sure what good that does. Most people don’t seem to think that being a subject is a superlative. And maybe I’m just mucking up the language to think otherwise. But it seems the deeper and deeper you suppose people to be the less and less of them there seem to be. The resistance to any kind of closeness seems stronger then logic would dictate. And I have always been a slave to logic.
I find myself thinking I’ve hit the bottom, that there is no more to discover here. It’s fairly painful to invest so strongly in something that you discover is not Truth. I am rebounding, trying to figure out at what point I went astray, but my view is muddled. I try to recreate what I found the first time with little luck. I try to be as honest as possible but I don’t think people know quite how to react to it and I never know how much force to apply.
So why all the letters? They calm me to an extent and they show me where I’ve been and how little I’ve changed. I’ve trained myself to talk endlessly at a brick wall and wait patently for an answer. I’d like to actually do something here but I’m really out of ideas as to what that would be. There are a lot of people that I’d like to be closer to but its in my nature to wait for them. But then how many of us are here waiting. .
We are equal distances from all things. I only say one thing but I will retool and calculate so that it will come out closer to what I mean. Glory and poetry seem to seep into my being. Slowly petrifying anger and fear. I am calm. I’m ready to start a pop band. We will speak to the public in there language about things that don’t need saying. This is not debasement its just a beat you can dance to. I want to be that guy in the local bar who you think sounds alright. I want to be lots of things. I’m more then fine with where I am. I have direction even if I have no speed. I’m far more curious about how others are moving. I write to waste my time and to mark the peaks and valleys of my oscillations. My mind is working all the time and out side the realm of ‘normal’ thought. I am brilliant in this if nothing else. I dream of electric shoes that will keep a beat for me and brilliant noise summoned by a flick of my wrist and a long chain of steal boxes. I dream so that my failure seems farther off. I can’t play love, or friendship, or sadness, or frozen milk on any number of strings.
It’s been an interesting first few weeks back here. I brought no pedals, only the clean Casio, and the normal dozens of acoustic instruments. I’ve been working on the technical aspects of my playing trying to memorize the fret boards of several different instruments. I’ve been exercising my hands constantly. I think I’m improving little be little but its left me with a lust for noise and a tangle of cables running into everything. And my damn comp keeps crashing so I suppose here is as good a spot to end as any.
The topic this surrounds is genericide, follow the Wikipedia link if you are unfamiliar with the term, get to know it, and realize the freedoms it entitles us all to. Example: the lowly Aspirin. You may not realize it, but Aspirin is a brand name, and in many other countries it has to be called by its generic name “Acetosal” In America if a trademark becomes part of the culture, it is subject to genericide.
Adobe is terrified at the prospect of Photoshop becoming genericized. So much so they actually released this insulting sheet (Thanks for the link, Alek) [link] on how the term “Photoshop” can and cannot be used. I quote now from this sheet
CORRECT: The new features in Adobe® Photoshop® software are impressive.
INCORRECT: Photoshop's features are impressive.
“Trademarks must never be abbreviated.” Do they honestly expect people to say Adobe every time they refer to Photoshop? What right do companies have to control how we refer to its products? Could I make a product whose name took half an hour to pronounce, and then be upset when people don’t bother to use its full name? This is completely ridiculous.
As a side note I’ve been meaning to write a post for a while now on how Copyright should be subject to genericide. Lets look for example at the Birthday Song. It was copyrighted in 1935 and not set to expire until 2030 (thanks very much Sonny Bono). Anyone who had any legitimate reason to gain from that song will be, and probably already is long dead. You have to admit that the song is part of our culture. How can someone own and profit from our culture? That’s just wrong. I argue that when something becomes part of the culture, part of how we live, and so common that a thought is never even given to where it came from, its copyright should be null and void.
Secondly and even more pointedly, it’s a 4-line song, 3 of the lines are identical. How can that even be copyrightable? It’s literally a copyright on two sentences, one of which is missing a word i.e.: Insert Name Here. There should be a minimum length on what is copyrightable. How can you copyright that, it’s a common saying. If anything has ever been disserving of ridicule, this is it.
Time Warner, it is your turn to step up to the plate. Don’t be a dick, let “Happy Birthday To You” go. Uhoh, I just posted 3/4ths of the song by saying the title, fuck... Its in quotes though, I should be fine. Thoes of you curious to the full lyrics can find them here: [link] .
One final note, this is the first Oasisband post of 2007. Heres wishing this year be better than last! Godspeed.
Funny development from South America, Hugo Chavez fresh off wining elections in Venezuela plans to rewrite the constitution down there to remove any limitations on the time he can spend as president. Somehow this scares very little of the international community. Looking back on world history, all dictators have been rather quick to make sure there are no limits on how long they could stay in power. Venezuela?s constitution has this pesky clause restricting how long one can stay in power. For Mr. Chavez this is just not gelling with his "revolution," what to do. Ahh of course, lets rewrite the constitution. This has long been a favorite technique of the world's dictators, and Hugo Chavez is a dictator masquerading around as a man of the people. The BBC has quoted him saying that he intends to stay in power till 2021! 2021! You can disagree with the policies of the United States as much as you want, but Mr. Chavez also intends to completely socialize the Venezuelan economy. While Mr. Chavez has decided to ignore history, others like myself will take a second look. Socialism works only when no one has any desire to improve their standing in life beyond the average. Every communist nation, China, North Vietnam, Cuba..., there are those with power who live a better life than those without. Socialism doesn?t work because inevitably a small percentage of the people are able to concentrate power. Mr. Chavez has also decided that he will send his oil to China instead of the US, because he "He does not wish to have his democratic credentials, his style of government and his socialist project scrutinized internationally." (from BBC). Gee if I was a dictator in disguise I sure wouldn't want my government policies scrutinized internationally. Though I guess that?s the benefit of dealing with a Communist Nation (China) who has no regard for the policies of who their dealing with instead of one that does. Turns out for the United States, this whole doing the right thing and caring about the policies of the people your trading with is a really huge pain in the ass, but I guess that?s why we?re so loved.
BBC article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6212430.stm