Forshizzle's Posts

First off I have a radio show on KNDS 4-6 am Fridays. Second I?m not calling it that no matter what you do. Here is the crappy web site if you want to check the stream Listen to me screw up should be fun! Also I need a name for a show, so any ideas get them to me!

Every one you know seems to be maturing? Who are these people? If you don’t think your mature enough for a “real collage” you might be surprised. . . You will be surprised. The growth your looking for may just come with a new situation. I really do think that putting your self in the freshmen dorms and just kind of jumping headlong into the whole thing would be a big help to you. (I didn’t really get that chance living in the hotel 75 for my first semester) This is as I’ve said before also selfish on my part (assuming you would come to NDSU) because I want you up here. I don’t think we ever had enough time to really get to know each other which is odd because its been along time. I guess I don’t understand how Brittany and the driver’s license makes us not be peers any more. That just doesn’t make any since to me. As for bleu I don’t remember that moment as clearly as you because I’ve had so many of those moments. That’s really how me and Gross got so close we studied film, probably a few hundred or so. Art has a way of unifying people. Its just a way of saying the unsayable. The people I know are what dives me forward its simpler for me to do things for other people then to do for my self. But do not fear; fear eats the soul. So come up to Fargo you might learn something and the change of scenery might do you good. Well do something anyway your not going to win this race standing still (and you probably already know that).

Yours in ten minuets or less (or your pizza is free),
Jeff Forshée

After much waiting new comics are up (Over 150 comics now (woot)). Two by me and the rest by me and Meka (the difference should be painfully clear). More on the way soon so keep checking. I did my part not the rest of you lazy bastards post some thing.

I started a letter in my head. It began: “You know the sound that a pulley makes banging against a flag pole? That is how I feel right now.” It will not have a middle. It will not have an end. Sad dreams of distant happy tomorrows. I find myself arguing with the clock instead of working on art and the New Language. Car ride home with Tina and Michelle. Said blissfully too much. Contented. Just failed my driver’s test. Always calm about these things. I will have no problems next time. (Though that won’t be for three weeks so if I do me and the clock will come to a head.) Next year spreads out wide in front of me. The summer will have been a good one. I have been called a nice guy and a poet both by people who would know. Some one needs to yell at me to get music and comics up. Though it seems there really aren’t any fans of my music. Just called nick asked him what the deal was. . . He said who is this. . . I told him all else remains a mystery. Said he was at work told him to call me back. I found my self laughing through the whole conversation. Very Buda I think. Nick seems cornered I think, says “now is not the best time I‘m at work” is there anything more then yeah haven’t talked to you in a year. With the new language we build houses (aedificare) and bridges it seems. Could this turn out the same as our rift? Seems to good. But I am in high sprits now. I have a woman and a guitar there is love to make and songs to write. May the vast open horizons great you as pleasantly.

Yours in truth,
The eternally waiting, Jeff Forshée

Kafka died a few days ago. The fear that I would slip away with him was overwhelming. Couldn’t sleep. Thought I wouldn’t wake up. Instilling a perfect fear of death. Unable to operate under those conditions. So the fear lays dormant. The fishing is good here; It sustains me. I am half looking forward to and half dreading next year. Maybe the system will give me the forward motion I need and have needed for a long time. I miss people. . . I don’t know weather that is specific beings or just in general. What is our deal? Most friends are “there for each other” and that really doesn’t apply to us. . . At least in the conventional since. We have to much hesitation. Far to much. I realized the other day that when I die (or before hand) that people will be able to understand me at least in some since. I will have left behind letters and diaries and music for anyone willing to look for it. This makes me content. I had a dream the other night Shatner was a room mate of mine we were close but didn’t talk much he died and I had to take care of his dog. . . Felt more emotion then I have in awhile. I won’t have enough money for everything next year. I will run out of food money near the end of the year que sera sera. I should update the medium page I have more then a few songs. I want to mix the failure with something half good and that may take awhile. I am afraid of what you said before. That were done talking. I don’t really know what to do about that. I know there are things you don’t know but I’m afraid you will have to ask for them. As any one can and no one does. People seem to have a fear of these public forums for things like this but we know the truth is. If we have transcended anything it should be lies.

Babylon Fading

The story of Babylon has always interested me. it’s a theme in most of my artistic works that doesn’t show up as often as it should. Its always been my belief that it was not language but understanding that was shattered. And that is of course far more horrible. Now I also believe that this is just a story. I shutter to think that anything anyone calls God could do something so infinitely cruel. My point is that this is something that need to be fixed. We must all learn to communicate better. even if it’s a web of person to person connections that work its far better then what we have. This is what I refer to as “the new language” at some points. Really its just a greater personal understanding and a willingness to tell the truth. The truth is. That is the new language. Most people don’t seem to have a desire to know other people. All men are islands some of us build boats. The doodling and what not are most important because your truly creating something regardless of how crappy it is. I hope someone actually reads. I hope they point out how foolish and idealistic I am (as long as they do it well). Who else can we pull into this? Any one else want in? No? Ok then. . .

Yours truly,
A man with a boat.

Of School and educators: I was once told that collages are a wealth of knowledge for one reason and one reason only. The freshmen come in with some knowledge and the seniors don’t leave with any. I believe the proper response to that is to laugh and cringe at once. You are right in not calling them professors. I like that it shows respect for the language. But you are wrong to call them teachers. They do not teach. They educate. Teachers are respectable beings they will take you hand and pull you along. An educator will throw you to the wolves. This subject causes me much stress probably more then anything else. I’ve been going through and reregistering and I get something akin to your “lunch line fear.” I see years of my life bridging off of a single instant. . . Almost paralyzing.
Of fear and the golden rule: Fear makes us do funny things. Fear makes us not do things. I have found that a good chunk of my life was a product of trying not to push my self upon people. My guess is that you share a some what similar philosophy. Early in life this really affected me. This is why I ware earthy tones and clothes that lack any sort of markings. I also make almost no sound when I walk. I thought that the sound of footfall was even pushing myself on people in some twisted way or another. I became am observer. But remove your self and think. This isolation is obviously self destructive but more then that it is illogical. People want to have things thrust upon them. The people who isolate them selves more then the rest. I’ve been trying to put myself out there more often. Though I tend to latch on to people harder then they can bear evidently.
Of the new language and warm bodies: When to people really get to know each other an odd thing happens. The definitions of words are refined. Things only mean one thing. Confusion is more or less eliminated. This speed of understanding is truly comforting. A new language develops only perceivable by the people that created it. I find that some terms do need to be added. The first was the concept of “warm bodies.” People only exist once you get to know them the rest of these things are just warm bodies. Which is not to say they aren’t comforting. They just aren’t people.
Of questions and continuation: What do you want of this? I’m not sure I have an answer to that anymore for most people. I only know that people are more comforting then the warm bodies I have to deal with day in and day out. I hope this back and forth continues. I hope it branches out. Feel more then encouraged to ask any question of me. People never ask enough important questions. What did you mean by “Love: Jesse Donat”? Just a letter ending maybe? Love is a powerful word but I use it more often these days. . .

This is a monster movie more in the way of Alice in Wonderland then Attack of the Giant Sea Thing from Space (It has both a blond in pig-tails and a mad scientist). The story is of an old alcoholic monster who just wants to die and a secretary turned dominatrix(well not really but you'll know exactly what I mean when you see it). The whole movie is about as nonsensical which in my book is a big plus. Now don't get me wrong don't expect Lynch like surrealism. This is a fairy tail for adults. A genre that has not really been explored at all. Now just because it's a fairy tale doesn't mean its at all simple. This is one of those films that you can read into however you can just be content with what's there. I really like this film I saw it on TV and was just kind of pulled in. I liked it more then my rating shows. it's a hard movie to attach a number to because its so different. Many will discount this film because of the deliberate non-acting in parts (think Mulholland Dr.) and the great but goofy sound track (think if Casio made an acoustic violin) but if you want something different pick up a copy.

I’ve been meaning to write to you for some time now. I’ve gotten into the habit of writing letters to a handful of people. Some how I keep putting yours off. I don’t know why. I think your one of the people I fear loosing. We’ve always been close but we’ve never been close. I feel like I don’t really know you all that well. I feel like I don’t know most people that well. I am not content in just casually knowing some one and its become almost an obsession of late. I’ve discovered that the truth is. So simple that most people think there needs to be more. It there for its own sake and should be freely given because that’s the only time it has value. I tend to rant. I think that’s what I like about letters. Information can be just thrown on to the page at almost the speed to thought and then some one else can process it all later. I think this page is a good place for ranting like this. My Space and all the others are fundamentally corrupt for a number of reasons but this is something we made and can shape how we want. Even if nothing comes of it. Well what is my point? I really have no idea but I was telling Gross truth exists in the back and forth and not in any one side. I want to get to know more people and to understand (the word fails me here) everyone that I know. But I find people fight me on this. Or at least they seem to. I really don’t mind telling anyone anything. I think I have reached a point where I could tell a stranger the most personal things I have. I tend to rant. I seem to be repeating myself. Well maybe I come off as crazy in this and that’s probably not far from the truth. But maybe if I’ve said anything at all we can build on that (though looking back I’m not sure I have). I will leave you with a question. One that now many would answer publicly. What is your sin? The one thing that makes you truly guilty. I find that most people have one that’s not even “immoral” or illegal. I know mine isn’t. Well at bear minimum I hope this is an olive branch. . . Seems like we’ve been drifting. . .

Comics 144 145 and 146 are up and quite bad. In other news we hit 25k hits! We need to get everybody posting again and get the site back to what it should be.