Bonjourno,
I'm here today to speak to you all fine citizens about the banes of my existence: Mr. Bill O'Riley of Fox News and Lou Dobbs of CNN. I understand and respect the desire both of these men have for bringing important news topics to the attention of the American public. Each of these men speak of topics that often will have substantial impact on the way you and I live our lives, and they believe in what they do.
This being said, Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Riley have come to embody the essence of all that is contemptible about 24 hour "news" networks. I believe it was the great man Louis Black who put it best when he said: "it takes these guys a month to bring you 24 hours of news."
And this all brings me to why Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Riley are the banes of my existence. Each of these gentlemen in the hopes of diffusing their respective viewpoints into the American consciousness literally dramatize issues to the point at which I just can't take it any more. Of the endless news stories these fine gentlemen present to you, many are very important and need to be discussed. However Bill O'Riley and Lou Dobbs would rather do that discussion for you. Almost without exception, 24 hour news network hosts cant seem to find more than 10 minutes of actual news to report so it'd be a grand idea if everyone became so paranoid about a particular issue that they never went outside, as opposed to giving people the information and letting them make up their own minds in a calm, rationale manner. While most network host do this, Bill O'Riley and Lou Dobbs are especially guilty parties. I challenge any one of you to try to sit through an entire broadcast and one of three things will happen. One, you physically won't be able to watch an entire show (personally I'm lucky if I last five minutes). Two, you will notices how ridiculously overdramatic these gentlemen are. Or three, you will get incredibly bored and change the channel after 20 minutes of mind-numbing analysis by these two fine gentlemen. (Note: It is entirely possible one or more of these things will happen). In the unlikely event none of these things happen than I strongly suggest you take a vacation and lighten up. About the only news network host I enjoy is Keith Oberman on MSNBC. His show is both informative and enjoyable, probably because he's not trying to shove his point of view down your throat (see Bill O'Riley and Lou Dobbs). Keith is what a news anchor is supposed to be, Bill O'Riley and Lou Dobbs could do well to take pointers from him.
Now I don't see the world through rose-colored glasses. We do live in a incredibly complicated world that has grown ever more connected through our advances in technology. Much of our world is deeply troubled and there is nothing worse than sweeping the bad news under the rug. That being said, how bout coming up with some reasonable solutions instead of doing nothing but repeating what's wrong with the world for an hour. Or better yet, maybe take five minutes out of an hour-long program to show people where progress is being made. I mean is that too much to ask, five minutes about where things are coming together, and I don't mean the kind of 30-second spots that you have at the end of local news broadcasts. You know, the kind about fluffy the surfing squirrel. I mean take five minutes or so at the end of the broadcast so people realize that not everything they hold dear is going to hell in a hand basket as the 24-hour news networks would have you believe. Heck by putting it at the end of the broadcast, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, etc. could still make sure that, 'if it bleeds, it leads.'